Monday, February 9, 2009

Not Me Monday



A very special thank you to MckMama for hosting Not Me Monday. Head on over and check out the plethora of mothers who are just as perfect as me - just kidding.

And now...

1. This week I did not indulge (binge rather) on 4 year old birthday cake therefore blowing my weight watchers diet to the moon. I'm not sure you are allotted 50 points a day when you really aren't working out except to raise your fork from the cake to your mouth repeatedly. No not me.

2. I absolutely did not resort to "drugging" or should I say medicating my child (eldest child mind you) with Benadryl because her naughtiness was absolutely absurd and I just couldn't take one more tantrum. I figured she needed sleep and she had a runny nose - justification enough. Absolutely not me.

3. I did not reach into my back pocket while on a recent shopping trip in hopes of pulling out my coupons only to find a handful of squished crackers. Gross. Not me.

4. After a feeble attempt to decorate for my daughter's 4th birthday, I did not resort to using medical tape to hang her coveted Tinkerbell banner above the fireplace. Being the ultra organized mom that I am, I most certainly would have planned ahead on one of my 1000 trips to the store this week to purchase a roll of scotch tape. I then didn't lie to my daughter about why her banner kept falling down - gently explaining that the fireplace was just so clean that the banner just wouldn't stay up - oooooh not me.

5. I absolutely did not bribe my children to do what I said on a recent morning with a pack of those Valentines Day Hearts that I happened to find in the closet. And if I did, it most certainly would have been more sophisticated than this for example....
Mattea, line up at the door and be the line leader - you'll get a green heart.
Paloma, put on your shoes and you'll get a pink heart.
Mattea - Mattea - I said for the millionth time, pick up your dolls. You'll
get a white heart.
Paloma, eat your supper - you'll get a yellow heart.
I obviously am a much better mom than that and most certainly would never resort to bribery - especially candy. Nope - not me.

6. And last but not least.........
I did not stop at the park this week during one of our 40 degree high days and let the kids run around until they just couldn't run anymore. I didn't happen to be the only mom there for awhile. I did not chase my kids silly - up and down the slides - around the water fountains, pushing them back and forth on the swings, hanging on the monkey bars. I did not look up to see that they both had a copious amount of snot running down their faces and not a tissue in sight. I did not freak out for a moment realizing I went to the park unprepared - gasp. I did not then reach into the pocket of my jacket to find a pantyliner to which I absolutely did not wipe their nose with. Ugh - who in the world would ever do that - certainly not this mommy.

That concludes my rendition of Not Me Monday. Exciting week huh? I'd love to hear about yours. Happy reading and don't forget to jump over to My Charming Kids.

6 comments:

KLRieber said...

I loved this post!!! It is definitely Monday, and I definitely cracked up! I'm sorry I got so much humor out of your horrible week. The two that I laughed at the most was you "medicating" Mattea, and the make-shift kleenex at the park! I hope this week goes better!!

Natalie said...

I love this post!!! I find it completely acceptable to bribe your kids - I call it "giving them extra incintive" & the benadryl - been there done that! And the panty-liner...you can't fake that kind of story! I love it!

Wayne said...

ewww squished crackers lol Great not me monday!



I was also wondering if you would like to take part in tribute tuesday. It is a chance to tell some one that you are thankful for them in your life by paying them tribute.
Tribute tuesday also has a mr linky so the world can see your tribute to the person that light up your life.

Kim said...

Oh, Heather! You always amuse me! Wish I could be closer to see all these crazy moments play out in person :-)

ann said...

Hi Heather! I've missed catching up on you guys lately. Hope things are going well! Just to make you feel better-I have not really been by myself with all three yet. My parents live in town and Steven has taken some time off. I have only been by myself when Ellie and Luke were napping. If I had to do it by myself at the dinner/bathtime/bedtime hours, I would be completely sunk. I'll let you know how things go when I am completely by myself. Happy Birthday to Mattea. Can't believe she's 4. I remember when Ellie and Mattea were dedicated at church!

Lindsay said...

The pantyliner not me takes the cake - hands down. But I've been there done that kind of thing and I applaud your resourcefulness! I bet that sucker was way more absorbent than a kleenex.

As for the three column blog I did that myself - not so hotly I might add. I followed the links from The Cutest Blog On the Block. They also have free 3 column backgrounds to use! Let me know if I can be more help - a lot of it was fixing and then viewing and then going back and adjusting.