1) I certainly did not entertain the idea of packing up my two sweet little girls and my husband to head off to the local baseball park to take in Dollar/Family Night. Ummm, hate sports way too much to think that we'd actually have a good time. But I most certainly did not go into it with a bad attitude.... While we were there, my children did not load up on sugary, rotten, bad for you stadium food. I of course would never forget the wipes or go anywhere without napkins while my children are trying to down their 'not very good for you stadium food'. In a panic after Paloma spilled her slushy all over, I did not dig through the diaper bag and begin using Cinderella panties to clean up the mess. I am never unprepared and way too civilized to be using toddler panties in public. Not me.
2) I absolutely did not look up the other night to find Paloma intently looking and then digging in her toes. I then did not witness her stick her finger in her mouth. After questioning her behavior my daughter absolutely did not tell me she was eating the dirt from her toes. I raise my kids better than that. UGh! NOt me.
3) After completely believing Dave and I were going to get up and run a 10K race on Saturday morning, I did not carb load on a bag of Cheetos and then completely justify it by examining the carb content in a serving size of extra crispy Cheetos. And then.... Dave and I absolutely did not skip the race (for many reasons) and completely blow off running altogether that day to lay around and do nothing while our children played in the next room. Not us.
There's a brief glimpse of how my week did not pan out. I'm sure if I examined it more closely, I would not be able to add another ten things to the list. As I'm running around in scrubs and flip flops, this rendition of Not Me is as good as it gets.
Have a blessed week!