What would you do if you were given one month to live?
That is the question my small group has been trying to answer for the past couple months. We decided to tackle this Bible Study back in the fall in hopes of trying to redirect our lives based on the idea of only having one month to live. Of course, we know that if we truly only had one month to live, many of us would quit our job, hire a housekeeper and head off to some remote island with all you can eat buffets and clear blue water. But, in essence none of us really know how much time we have left. The point - live as if you are limited. Because you are.
So, of course this has caused me to do some reflecting in my life and in turn, make some changes. They may not seem like big changes to you - but they are for me. So I would like to share a brief list of things that I have done differently as I begin to live my life differently. I'd love for you to think about what would be on your list and do share if you'd like.
Since completing this Bible Study I:
1) rode up and down the escalator yesterday at the mall with Paloma simply because she wanted to. Even though we were pressed for time because we had to get back and pick up her sister and I had a to-do list a mile long, I chose to forget about stopping at the grocery store and just ride the escalator up and down the floors in Dillards. Paloma smiled like it was Christmas. It was amazing.
2) have chosen to only deep clean every other week. Seems silly huh? I was cleaning every week religiously because I absolutely hate dirt/grime/clutter/etc. But with Dave away more, some days the only time I get to see him is on the weekends so I have chosen to do some "light cleaning" and completely forget about deep cleaning until the following weekend.
3) I have cut back on my hours spent at the gym. I'm not exactly happy about this one because I miss my workouts but rather than race around in the mornings trying to drop Mattea off, head to the gym, shower, and get back to pick Mattea up, I have decided to leisurely spend the morning one on one with Paloma. Again, I miss my workouts but I'm getting some much needed time in with my baby.
4) I have taken a step back and taken a look at how to nurture the precious relationship with my husband. I realized this last summer was miserable for us and I want the upcoming summer to be different. With different stresses occurring in our life, we chose to take it out on each other rather than work through it together. I have opened my eyes to him in a whole new light and although it is hard to overlook his "imperfections" I realize mine are no different. And if I woke up tomorrow without his "imperfections" laying next to me, I'd be devastated.
5) have cut vacuuming down to 2-3 times a day. Yep, used to be 6 but not anymore. And honestly folks, if I knew I had only 1 month to live, I wouldn't vacuum at all.
6) There is some forgiveness going one with certain relationships in my life. By far, I think this is the area that needs a lot more work, but if I was to no longer be around, I'd want all of those broken relationships to be mended before my passing. Again, I have a long ways to go but at least I'm now on the path.
7) cook. Crazy huh? Well, I don't really cook but I try. Just this past week, I whipped up a batch of sugar cookies and let the girls have at it with the frosting, sprinkles, and candy. They had a blast despite finding sprinkles all over my floors and rugs. It wasn't that long ago, I randomly decided to make a batch of scones as well. This is totally out of character for me, and to be quite honest, I still don't like it. But my kids do, and they enjoy being in the kitchen. And it allows us to work on an activity together ~ one that reaps rewards ~ semi good food at the end. So, I've tossed aside our learning books and flashcards, rolled up our sleeves, and dug out the mixer.
Again, these are just a couple of changes that I've made. I know it may not sound like a lot to you, but it is a lot to me. I am consistently reminded now on a daily basis of how precious each day is. I lay my head down each night and one of the first things I thank God for is "this day." This very day, whether it was glorious or dreadful, I am thankful for the day. I will say that some nights, I'm gritting my teeth as I thank God (silently hoping he allows for a better one tomorrow.)
What goes through your mind as you begin to think about only have one month to live?