So once again......
1) I did not run my vehicle off the road two weeks ago and into an irrigation canal with my youngest daughter in the car after a local snow storm. I did not sit around for almost two hours while the "locals" attempted to help pull me out. After much attempt, 911 was called and a tow truck was dispatched. That nice sweet man did not charge me an absolutely absurd amount of money to hoist my Pilot out of my predicament. Nor did he moon my daughter and I while trying desperately to connect my car to his ramp "thing." Ugh. Nope - not me.
2) While sitting in my vehicle for almost two hours waiting to be "rescued," Miss Paloma did not poop her pants and then become upset because now that she is potty trained, pee/poop in her pants is almost unheard of. I was not forced to change her in the front seat using a combination of toilet paper and snow because I had apparently forgotten to pack more wipes after we had donated ours to the nice family in the grocery store who's son had thrown up all over their groceries. Paloma was less than thrilled to have her bum wiped off with the makeshift wipes. Nope - not me.
3) I did not polish off (along with the help of my husband) the children's M & M's that they had received in their stocking. I was PMS'ing and the children don't really need them anyway - right? Besides, technically, I was the one who purchased those M & M's in the first place. Not me.
4) I did not find cobwebs in my play room while cleaning this week. Yuck. I consider myself to be the queen of cleanliness and finding cobwebs in the area where my children play daily would be down right wrong. Nope - not me.
5) I did not become overjoyed this week after my youngest daughter finally turned two - which among other things meant she could be dropped of at the Fred Meyer playland along with my oldest daughter to play while I got the grocery shopping done. Granted, I was terribly distraught over the idea of my "baby" becoming an official toddler - but man - grocery shopping without having any children with me is too darn good to pass up. Not me - no way would I become excited over something so small.
6) While shopping alone at Fred Meyer while my children were hanging out in playland, I was not paged back because of a "bathroom emergency." Of course we made it to the potty in time. Paloma with her bladder of steel would not even think of urinating all over herself in public. Gasp. But what I did not realize was that she was not calling me to pee -she wanted to poop and apparently a small amount came out before she was alerted to the fact that she should finish on the potty. Therefore, I was not forced to pick up a piece of poop from Paloma's shoe after thinking I was free and clear from any bathroom blunders for the day. Not Me.
7) And finally, I will not/am not wearing clothes to bed tonight simply because the kids and I have to get up early for a special sporting event and it is way easier to get two kids ready for the morning vs. two kids and an adult. These clothes are comfortable enough to sleep in - right. No, who would do that? Not me.
Oh I could go on and on...I have had a pretty eventful two weeks. I'll stop there - in part because I am just too tired to type anymore. Here is hoping you had a great week. If you decide to participate - let me know. And always, if you are visiting from Mck Mama's blog, drop me a comment. I'd love to know you stopped by to visit and I will be sure to check our your Not Me Monday post.
Have a blessed day.